pelespen

On Not Giving a Flying Fuck Anymore

Thu, 19 Sep 2013 06:12:48 GMT

People on the internet are funny. Including myself.

Maybe it's because I've been away from things like fandom and all its wankery for so long, or maybe it's because I spend too much time on reddit, or maybe it's just because I'm forty (bitches), but I realized just now that I no longer have any fucks to give. You wanna call me names, accuse me of bad behavior, nitpick my wording for your social justice bullshit, or even better - diagnose me with some kind of hoopdy-doo psychological/sociological jargon because I said something snarky?

Pfft. Okay, whatever. You have fun with that.

A year, fuck - even a month ago, maybe, I'd have at least a tiny spike in blood pressure/defensiveness/outrage. Now? Huh. *checks self* Nope. No fucks left.

It's just...interesting and kind of weird, is all. I mean, we go on trying not to give a shit, or trying to at least act like we're not bovvered. But to really truly NOT care is kind of a novelty.

Just sayin'.

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Daenerys.

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 04:10:29 GMT

That is all.

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Fic: "Vein of Gold"

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:54:34 GMT

Title: Vein of Gold
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is exclusively owned by JK Rowling / Scholastic. No money is being made from this. All characters are of legal age of consent.
Pairing: Harry Potter / Hermione Granger
Rating: M
Word Count: ~7,000
Summary: Hermione has been ordering some suspicious magical texts. Harry is sent to intervene, but finds he would much rather work with her than follow the wishes of those meddling Weasleys.
Warnings: EWE, very slight Weasley-tainting, altho I just couldn't manage to outright bash them, and Ron simply would not cooperate with being made a jerk or an idiot.
Author’s Notes: Written for the 2011 hermione_smut exchange. I wish I could have really fleshed this out to make it as dark as I'd intended, but as with all of the prompts given by my recipient, my full idea for it was too epic for me to really handle. Let's just say that there's an intentional hint at darkness that would follow if I'd made it more than a one-shot.

( Read more... )

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Fic: "Pack Bonding"

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:45:02 GMT

Title: Pack Bonding
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling / Scholastic. No money’s being made from this. Also, Hermione is 21 or older, even though it’s not explicitly stated in the story itself.
Pairing: Hermione/Sirius with a side of Remus
Rating: NC17
Word Count: ~7,200
Summary: Fenrir’s attack wasn’t meant to simply infect Hermione, but to claim her as his mate. The only way to trump the magic of Alpha bonding is to be claimed by a pack instead.
Warnings: Light bondage, anal play, implied threesome, copious amounts of smut with a dash of plot, and chocolate.
Author’s Notes: Originally written as a gift for 2010 hermione_smut exchange, for the prompt, "Hermione as a werewolf and finds her mate, but is someone she can't stand."

( Read more... )

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damn it!

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:25:37 GMT

I live in a contemporary-style house. My living room has 20' tall ceilings. Love that. Except when I see a HUGE motherfucking palmetto bug crawling around up there and I have no way of killing it. It's taking all I have not to fling one of my cats at it in a moment of irrational panic.

D: D: D: D:

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Wednesday Awesomeness

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:46:40 GMT

Perfection. Flawless. Immaculate. Yes. Tom Waits. Cookie Monster. Period.

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Fri, 29 Jul 2011 13:48:27 GMT

I got my birthday present early. It wasn't a surprise, except that I got it early, because M was afraid he'd pick the wrong one.

At this point, I'm honestly just medium-happy with it. These companies are still putting too much limitation on their devices in an attempt to make them as proprietary to their store as possible. Yes, there are hacks and work-arounds, but damn. For the money they're charging, why can't I have a nice, fast, technologically awesome e-ink touch reader that does things just the way I want them to? Largely, I refuse to purchase my e-books from B&N or Amazon. The only time I'll do it is if there's no other option. So I have a huge e-book library, all nicely organized and labelled, and when I do download free e-books from B&N, I convert them and put them there so everything's in the same place. End result - all of my files are kept in such a manner as to be treated as second-rate by the firmware itself. It's put in a "My Files" folder instead of the Library, it appears that I can't share any passages to my social networks, and it won't pull any of them up in the "reading now" column. All because it splits the file system.

But as a reader itself, it's a really nice experience. Just - beh.

I'm trying this one out to make sure the battery is ok. And I'll wait it out through their first major firmware update. If they don't fix the goddamned shelves at least, I'm rooting it.

Note - I know it sounds like I'm not very happy with it, and should therefore just take it back. I don't want to, though. I want the device, I just want it to do things my way. Plus I gave M my old Nook and I wouldn't want to take it away from him.

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Norway

Sat, 23 Jul 2011 12:53:44 GMT

My heart hurts.

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swoon

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 00:12:53 GMT

I am such a dork. I'm not afraid to admit it. But I just have to say, I finally, FINALLY got around to seeing Alice the miniseries. And I am a swooning, fangirling mess. I mean, okay, yeah, we've been watching Primeval, so my interest in Andrew Lee Potts was already piqued. But he's just delicious as Hatter. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuu.

I seriously have not had that kind of a squealing, girlish, giddy, mushy reaction to a story or movie in AGES. GUH. *sigh*

Okay, and as a real update, I have actually been writing a bit. But I'm also struggling with some work crap that has me bummed out, so I'm still getting my footing. Writing, though! Yay! And I'm totally inspired now!

*flail*

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Cross My Palm... With Tuna...

Sat, 28 May 2011 02:25:38 GMT

I don't even know how many times I've watched this now, but I laugh every time:

Writing update in a bit.

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the crazy is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood...

Sat, 07 May 2011 18:08:38 GMT

Hello, everybody! It's a beautiful, sunny, mild day here in north Georgia! We're going to take the Suki dog out to the parp, or maybe/probably the dog-parp in a bit (parrrrrrp!). Because it's just one of those relaxed, do-something days. Before we go, however, there was some chilling out, breakfast eating, and espresso drinking to be done. It was while I was taking care of those duties that there came a knock on the door. I let Mike answer it, because hey. People don't usually knock on our door, and when they do, they're typically selling something - usually magazines, roofing, or religion. Mike likes to deal with that. I don't. I noticed, however, that it looked like an elderly lady, so I warned him that I thought it was a neighbor. Which it was. I was busy with the Gaggia, however, so I let him take it.

Apparently, she came over to inform us that at ten o'clock this morning, a red fox came right up in her front yard! Okay, that's... cute, I guess. I mean, I dig the wildlife. And she did caution us when we had coyotes in the neighborhood and Suki was just a baby-dog and smaller and maybe could have been bait for that sort of thing, I guess. But the novelty of the fox was gone, since a few months ago I actually saw a red fox come right up to our back deck under the kitchen window to just hang out in the grass. Okay, she wasn't just hanging out, she was scratching and scooting her butt in the grass. It was... neat and weird. But I digress. Mike told the neighbor, "Neat! Yeah, Ilex saw one in our yard a few months ago..." I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but after a few more minutes he came inside with a bemused sort of look, and said, "...Okay, then." Because apparently the reason the neighbor came over was to "warn" us about foxes on the loose, in case we notice that Suki was acting "sad."

...

...whut?

We both had a giggle fest over this. I mean, the only way it could have been funnier is if Mike had been less than sober. In a special way that I won't discuss here.

...Oh, wait.

Of course, this is also the same neighbor who informed me a while back that the elderly man who lives across the street from us was in the hospital and apparently very unwell, as in, 'probably won't make it'. And then she says, "So it looks like there'll be another house up for sale on our street soon." o_O

Oh, the people in our neighborhood.

Then again, there was a morning a week or so ago when, at 7am, someone started laying on their horn and then honking it intermittently after that. Now, I've had to deal with douchery like this before, where someone starts "carpooling" and the driver is a lazy fucker who would rather wake up the entire neighborhood than get out of the car and knock on the goddamned door. So I got up and yelled out the window, "ENOUGH WITH THE FRIGGIN HORN ALREADY!" Because you know, I'm a northern girl at heart. Well, a few days later I was outside with Suki and our next door neighbor was out unloading groceries. (Even though these are the same people w/the remote controlled cars, they're ultimately a sweet family and we get along.) She saw me and came rushing over and said, "I wanted to tell you I am SO SORRY about the horn on our truck the other day. The security system had a short and it started just going off intermittently and we couldn't get it to stop and I wanted you to know that we would NEVER do that intentionally..." blah blah blah.

So yeah. Who's the crazy, now? *hangs head in shame* But then, like Mike said, at 7am with a sudden car horn blaring, everyone gets a free pass for crazy.

To finish things off, have a picture of my dog:

She was only two here. Now she's going to be five this year! *sniffle* They grow so fast! :(

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Well, damn. :(

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:51:54 GMT

I am so sad to hear of Phoebe Snow's passing. My mom was always a big fan, but I personally got into her music when I started taking vocal lessons and my instructor had me "study" her performances. If you can, you should take a listen to three of her non-"Poetry Man" songs below. This is my favorite album of hers, too. Just - sad. :( Rest in peace, you amazing woman.

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Ugh and Ew

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 04:29:42 GMT

So in a wildly successful attempt to procrastinate and distract myself from revision work, I just took a gander at the past. Oh, come on - you and I both know I'm not the only one who's ever done it. I've been on the internet for, I don't know, like fifteen years or something. I was an early subscriber, back when "the web" was mostly text and the most social networking you could do involved mudds or telnet chats. (How freakin' awesome, btw, that facebook brought my old telnet chat crowd back together? Love that!)

EHneeweigh. I don't know why. Boredom, I guess. Yeah, that's the length I've gone to distract myself from really digging in and moving into this next section of my book for revisions. I went back and looked up a few people with whom I had falling-outs. And just - ew. Some things, some people, never change. It makes me wonder if the same could be said about me. But really? You're still carrying around that chip on your shoulder, calling god only knows how many people your "Judas" - there's a pattern there, sweetheart. Oh, my angry angel... tell me - who's your Judas this time? People have falling outs. It happens. But it's been SO long, and to see you still so bitter... I don't know, man. I don't know.

And you! I've been thinking about you off and on since things blew up in my face a year ago. I understand a lot more of why you were so fucking damaged and sick, why you were so awful to women, why you were basically a serial shmuck, playing your plays on repeat from state to state. It doesn't excuse it. But I understand what made you that way, now.

And you... oh, goodness. You really are just doing the exact same shit, aren't you? You'll never accept that the reason I reached the end of my rope with you wasn't your change in tastes, but your lies and bullshit. I don't get the lies. It's not even something that's worth lying over. But it'll just have to be a mystery, I guess.

Oh, and you - I didn't check up on you. I still feel terrible that I had to disappear on you. But so many states between us and your balance really slipped violently... I didn't know how else to handle it. I hope you got help. I hope you're okay. I still love you, but not in "that" way. I wish I had known better than to use the "l" word at all - you'd think, after case "B" up there, I would have learned. But I do hope you're all right.

On that note, I have thirty-three minutes to take care of the mutt and cats and rough out this extra chapter. Make that thirty-two. Book rec of the moment: Collision Course by Zoe Archer.

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where I've been

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 16:41:48 GMT

I'm taking a little break this morning to check in here with some thoughts about what I've been up to. I realize that it probably seems like I've just dropped off the face of LJ/DW/fandom/etc. And my occasional popping in to say, 'Hey! Still alive! Writing novel!' seems pretty distant and inconsequential. After all, you don't know what my novel is about. I don't talk about my novel. It could be utter crap. It could be a total lie! A fabricated excuse to justify why I'm no longer updating The Wait or writing any new fanfics. Of course, more likely than anything, I'm such a tiny fish that very few people actually care much either way, which is fine, too.

Mostly I wanted to link this. I don't think it's the original source of what I remember reading months ago, but it still sums up the general sentiment. "Sudden Novel Death Syndrome." Things that will kill your novel. And right there at the top of the list? Talking about your novel. The explanation given there is exactly why I don't share.

Well, that and the fact that I'm irrationally paranoid. Not that I think my ideas are so incredibly new and genius, but I just think it'd be my pathetic damned luck that the one time I decided to post a bit of what I'm working on, someone else would come along, steal the idea, and market it in such a way that they'd make a fortune before I could even try to peddle my sad little wares. But mostly I'm paranoid that SNDS will happen, that if I come around constantly squee'ing about my plot, my characters, my ideas, I'll never get anything actually written. And frankly, I've floundered at enough other things in my life, I don't really feel like botching this, too.

So that's why my only updates go something like this: I'm currently in the midst of first revision of my first full-length romance novel. Unfortunately, right now it seems like I'm "filling in" more than I'm cutting out, but maybe I can shave off more words in the second revision.

And, oh! I'm also really excited about the digital end of the publishing industry right now. I realize it still only accounts for about 20% of book sales. And I don't think paper books are going to ever be extinct - I hope not. Like acoustic instruments, they have their place. And what happens if we lose our technology completely? I mean, what if a huge ion blast hits the nation or the planet, wiping all this information out? Where will be, then? We need DTBs ("dead tree books"). I just don't have room for them on my shelves anymore, and I'm more prone to reading my nook now. But I digress. For the little guy, for the writer who doesn't have the patience to send thousands of queries out in the hopes of one little nibble from a big publishing house that is currently screwing the hell out of both consumers and authors, this wild wave of digital publishing is really exciting.

And see? I could ramble on about that, too. And what does that serve? Well, it's interesting, I guess. But it means jack shit while my book is still in revision stage. Digital market? So what? It means nothing if I don't actually have a finished product to sell in said digital market.

So I'm thinking I probably won't really "share" much of what I'm writing until after it's written, polished, trimmed, polished again, etc. And then I might have to revisit the subject of marketing and exposure. One thing I know, though, is that when it happens, it won't be here, under this name. I'll absolutely link everyone here, but another thing that I learned first in fandom but more resoundingly from the embarrassing behavior of certain published authors, is to keep your personal shit private. Especially rants. And dear god - commenting on other blogs and reviews - NO! DON'T DO IT! Once you post something on the internet, it's public forever, even after you take it town or edit it. "Rants" and capslockfrenzies about piracy, other writers, reviewers, etc., are permanent and absolutely will color the opinions of your potential audience. The minute you sell one story, you are, even in that tiny way, a professional author. Act professional. Not to say you can't have opinions or feelings. But execution and presentation is everything.

And look at me, talking so big before anything happens. Really, it's just observations from stuff I've read over these past months. Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job. I know better. (Most authors have to keep their day jobs even with a publishing deal.) But I do have a story(ies) to share and hopefully, when it's cleaned up and shiny, someone out there will enjoy it.

In real life crap: Bah. Monday. My stomach decided to rebel against me last night, and due to some other stupid body issues last week, I'm behind on a shop job. So I took today off to get that done as well as get a little more revision done. That's about all I got. Pianos and romance novels.

PS - Thank you to everyone who commented on my post about reaching The End! It was one of those things where I felt silly responding with "thanks!" "thank you!" to everyone individually, but I didn't have anything else useful to say. *smooches*

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!!!!!!!!

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 21:12:30 GMT

I'm still alive. I've even been poking in and keeping an eye on LJ/DW pretty regularly. But A) not a whole ton of stuff has been going on, at least nothing terribly blog-worthy, and B) I made a sort of vague half-promise to myself that I wouldn't post anything on here unless I was done with "draft zero" of my novel.

...YUP!

Granted, there's a LOT of revising, rewriting, cutting, and filling in to be done. That's why it's called "draft zero." But holy fucking hell, y'all! 105,000 words (+/-) of original fiction. I know that's probably small beans to some of you, but it's the biggest thing I've ever written, and it started just over four months ago. And, with the exception of my husband, my mom, and my girl Cali, there was no real encouragement or ass kicking to keep me going. Not that fan fiction is automatically easier - they're two different beasts. But at least with fanfic, there's feedback. Even if you wait to post your story until it's complete, there's always the inspiration of fandom itself to give you a boost. No one's going to see what I've written until it's at least at a readable revision/version, and then my only feedback will be a couple of people.

And I am SO no where near done. A lot much work to do, still. So reaching some semblance of an ending/epilogue is just... anticlimactic, to tell the truth.

But, it's there. Now I'm going to do some housework, read Warrior by Zoe Archer and Play of Passion by Nalini Singh, work on a piano action, gather up my records for taxes, and whatever other fun and interesting things I can think of for the next couple of days. I actually am planning on tackling at least one chapter for The Wait, although right now I feel like those 3-5k chappies are totally small beans compared to the harrowing, hair-pulling work of what I've been writing. *Crosses fingers*

I will try not to jump in on revising, but I have to admit that I really, really want to. I also need to organize/reformat this thing. I might try transferring everything over to Scriverner for Windows Beta, just to get a feel. As long as it's all backed up (and boy, is it - never will forget that lesson!), it should be okay.

*Whew* yay! *throws glitter*

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snarl gnash

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 20:10:16 GMT

Argh.

Fucking monkey wrenches.

I've reached a level of stress over my novel that's unattractive and too melodramatic and cliche for my tastes. I actually had a crying fit yesterday. Over a story. God damnit. Yes, an actual villain would be a good idea. It wouldn't even change things up THAT much. It would make things work better with the 3-book story arc. But it's thrown me off my rhythm and set me up for more work when I really want to reach the end of this thing so I can revise and at least get beyond draft zero. *whine* *bitch*

The Wait is looking to be farther and farther off, sadly enough. And yet, I'm not so sad about it. Just... apologetic. Eh.

Also, I'm trying to get things organized and fix up my studio. A large part of this has been getting my husband to get his shit out of the way. He's finally doing it! The problem is that now he thinks he has better ideas as to what to do with that space, and Keeps. Arguing. With. Me. I already have a plan! It's MY space, damnit! Back the fuck off and let me do this!! ARGH!

I swear to god, if he tries to mess w/my plans for the spare bedroom I'm just going to strangle him.

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Hello!

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 18:49:35 GMT

Well, I think I'd been at least subconsciously waiting to make my 'first post of the year' until I had something worthwhile to say, but that could possibly take all year, so...

I'm still trying to get my bearings back from being gone for a week visiting in-laws (UGH. I could rant, a LOT, and I will try not to, but I make no promises). See, I don't get paid vacation time. When I take time off, I lose money, period. It's something that's kind of hard to get around, particularly if it's not something I am burning to do. And especially when that time off winds up being filled with guilt trips, whining, and a complete lack of any attempt at intelligent understanding as to why we can't visit with all four of M's parents multiple times a fucking year. And really - I get that he's the only child. But he's also 38 years old. At some point, don't you think it would behoove everyone involved to come to terms with the fact that he's a grown man, regardless of the (sometimes epic) mistakes he makes? I swear, I'm half-tempted to just tell them what all he's done so I can point out that no amount of their whining, preaching, and coddling has prevented THAT, so maybe they should back the fuck off, yo. But, that would never work. Still, sometimes I am tempted. I just have to not think about it. Hrmph.

I suppose it didn't help that, on top of the regular in-law stuff, I was PMS'ing AND in full-on warrior goddess bitch mode and not feeling very tolerant to just 'taking' it. No worries, I wasn't outright rude to anyone. But damn.

Anyway. So we get back from the great northeast, just in time for the great ice apocalypse of Atlanta. Which means almost another week of no work because I can't get out of my fucking driveway. And while, logically, one would say that's a GREAT time to catch up on things and get into some new, productive routines, the fact of the matter is that it just sent me into a depression and I wound up accomplishing very little. At least - it felt like very little. I don't know. I'm not worrying over it, because I'm just moving forward. I did get more writing done, but I try and hammer away at that every day, so I don't feel very self-congratulatory about it. I think most of what I 'accomplished' was internal. More attitude adjusting, etc. And I feel pretty good about that much.

The main thing I need right now is to practice forgiveness of self. (Screw everyone else, man! LOL) (kidding, sort of.) The things I haven't accomplished, the way I've let myself get out of shape, the ways I've fallen behind - I have to forgive that and remember that every failure is a choice we make as well as a learning experience. And choice means responsibility and power. If I got myself into a hole, it's because I made decisions that led me there, and I'm just as capable of making choices and taking actions to get out.

I don't exactly have hard resolutions this year. But things I am going to focus on and goals -

I'm going to get more actively involved in the PTG again and study for and take my Registered Piano Technician exams. There's no reason I can't pass them, except for laziness because I just don't bother to learn the technical terms or practice anything at home.
I'm also getting my piano studio back in order. Whether or not I actually get into teaching (I'm still struggling with this - it feels like something I should at least try, but I have no real enthusiasm for the idea right now). I need my piano studio back to myself.
I'm also going to try yoga. All other obvious health goals I should have aside, my back, shoulders, and neck are fuuuuhuuuucked. And it's because of my posture and poor maintenance. My only problem with this is that I am usually so tense and sore that the idea of even trying the beginners yoga dvd I have is just utterly unappealing. I could use some encouragement and words of experience here from anyone who regularly does yoga, please!!
I'm going to try February Album Writing Month. I've been hesitant to announce this to anyone, for fear of failure. But maybe I could also make a request for some cheerleading on that front, too! I promise to post some kind of mp3s of what I do, if I manage it!
For now, my goal is to finish the 'draft zero' of my novel by the end of this month so I can really get into revising for the first draft and start sketching out the other two novels in the series. Yep, I did just say that. I got to thinking about how romance series are really popular right now, and wondering if there was a way I could do that. Then I wound up with a bunch of bunnies to turn a couple of other story ideas I had into part of a larger arc that related to the current story.
That said, I miss Sirius. He'll be around soon, hopefully. I am kicking around the rest of my next chapter of The Wait in my head, so there's that.
100 Books! Well, 'books' I should say. (Reading, I mean.) Some of them will likely be short stories picked up at smaller, indie e-publishers, which is why I say 100 instead of 50. (btw, I'm pretty sure the purchase of my nook jetted me towards reaching the 50 goal last year, but I've lost track!)
Submit something for publication. Even if it's just a short story.
Little goals:
- minimize buying food on the go, both for health and money reasons! this includes coffee. man. it's working, so far!
- cook at home more. hopefully this will stick. i've been enjoying it so far. i made fish tacos for the first time ever a few weeks ago and they were SO YUMMY that i am totally encouraged to cook more.
  and by 'cook' i mean, "prepare foods to eat at home." which can mean making hummus and cleaning/cutting broccoli, and eating more fruits and veggies in general. i recently discovered i LOOOOVE pomegranates, btw! so good. SO GOOD.
- sleep better. i've discovered that as i've gotten older, i pretty much need eight hours a night. and with my work style, if i don't get to bed early enough for those eight hours, i'll be a slacker and reschedule my appointments to get those eight hours. that's not good, but it proves my point. may as well get to bed in time for what i need, because i'll just take it anyway.
- moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! god, i'm so fucking dry.
- get my eyes checked. pretty sure i've gone a little farsighted, and something's causing my right eye to run pretty regularly, plus both eyes get irritated way too much.

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the we

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 17:26:23 GMT

Short snarkage here, only because I don't really have anywhere else that's probably okay to say it, and I still am not keen on posting random brain tidbits on my LJ account.

Dear Friend's Not-So-New Girlfriend On FaceBook:

Look, we're all happy that he finally, FINALLY found someone. That's great! But it's been easily a year or more since you got together with him. We don't need your constant 'subtle' reminders of your couplehood via your comments in the plural. IE, friend A posts about having cookies. Seven states away. And you comment, 'could you bring us some?' 'Us' referring to you and your boyfriend, who is the only common link between you and friend A. Innocent enough, but you're like this ALL THE TIME. Everything is plural. 'Us' and 'we' and never ever do you just represent on your own. And it's been at least a year or so. Really, how much reassurance do you need? You're a couple, YAY. That doesn't mean being surgically attached at the hip, or giving the impression to others that you are.

signed,

grumpy and maybe a tiny bit bitchy ME.

Of course, the sad part is that I'm just grumping on this girl because she's the most recent offender. But there are other ppl I see on FB who are similarly annoying. Mostly in their constant yammering about how they're so 'blessed' to have such an amazing and wonderful husband/wife/children/whatever. That's nice. But when you go on about it every fucking day, it A) makes me want to stay even farther away from the church, and B) makes me think you're an insecure mess who is clutching desperately at appearances. It also pisses me off on behalf of people who are reading your shit who are single, unhappily married, going through a divorce, cannot have children, lost someone recently, etc. Way to make those people feel less blessed, like God just doesn't like them as much, I guess.

Last night I made chicken tikka masala in the crock pot (which makes it not exactly chicken tikka masala, but the ingredients are there). I think I have a slight addiction to capsaicin. There's such a heady rush of tingling, delicious pleasure at the heat. GUH. And then I crash. Maybe that's why I'm such a bitch today.

I gotta go to an appointment. Laters!

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Happy Christmas! Random Stuff and a Drabble

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 21:04:40 GMT

Hope everyone's having a nice holiday, if you're celebrating! It's actually SNOWING here. A white Christmas in GEORGIA, for pete's sake!

Things are going all right here, I suppose. Have been really busy with work, and I've been really wrapped up with my novel outside of work. It's weird to call it that - I'm trying to get used to it and just make myself say it: my novel. Not 'my nano' or 'my fanfic.' Because even though it's a romance novel, it's still a long work of fiction. A novel. It's kind of overwhelming to think about revision - truthfully I'm still trying to finish up the story itself, although I have it all planned out in my head. :) But on all counts from everything I've read, and just looking at it as I've written it right now, revision is going to be a long process. Long as in months, possibly a year, but hopefully not more. Yikes. In the meantime, I'm hoping to attempt some short stories, and yeah, I still intend on updating The Wait, as well. I'm really enjoying original fiction, though, so I'm not going to make any promises I can't keep as far as giving a time or estimated frequency of updates. But I'm not abandoning it.

I can't really think of much else, update-wise. I got some lovelies for Christmas - a couple of Metric CDs, the special re-release of Notorious by Duran Duran, the first book of the Sandman series, and a laptop cooling fan thing. Good shit. We're supposed to go to our favourite Chinese restaurant for Peking Duck tonight, but I'm not sure what the roads will be like. It's not that bad out there, but we don't have any kind of road cleanup system for bad weather here.

One thing I did want to mention is that I have DreamWidth codes. If anyone wants a DreamWidth account, let me know. It's pretty over there. It's just too bad everyone sticks to LJ instead.

Okies, that's about it on the "general" front. Behind the cut is a little fanfic Christmas 'drabble' (but OMG it's SO MUCH MORE than 100 WORDS you FOOL! That's NOT A DRABBLE! EGH! lmao). It's un-beta'ed, just rattled off this afternoon because I thought it'd be nice to write a little fluffy, syrupy, fandomy something for the holiday. I hope you enjoy!

( His Favourite Holiday (SB/HG) )

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procrastination (again, hey!)

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 20:56:14 GMT

In bullet-list format, no less!

You know, it's been over six months and I am still madly in love with my Nook. Best. Purchase. Ever. I don't think it (it being my mad, mad love) is really that device-specific. Just e-readers in general. So good.
I have been faithfully using my Gaggia ever since I got her fixed and slightly modded. But yesterday I was away from home and in need of a pick-me-up, so I stopped at a Starbucks. I literally almost typed, "Charbucks". Seriously, I don't know wtf they're doing, but how they can make a latte feel chalky is beyond me. Gross.
Tonight we're going to a pretty big Christmas party dealio. I'm a little nervous because it's the annual one our friends throw and usually M's group plays/sings Christmas songs. Well, we're dragging my keyboard over this time and adding that into the mix. I haven't practiced. In a long, long time. But I'm usually good at faking it, so...

I am also nervous because a particular person who just - grargh. She's on the e-vite list, and I don't know if she's going to be there or not. If she is, we're going to have to leave. Literally. This makes my stomach kind of churny.
Our house is so so sooooo dryyyyy since we turned on the heat. I swear, if we could just come in to like, $60k, it'd be really fucking nice. We could do things like pay off all our debts and back taxes, get this 40 year old house re-sided, get the disasters that were supposedly "renovations" the previous owner inflicted on the place repaired, have a whole-home humidity system installed, and get a real fucking bath tub I could actually soak in. *sigh* Beh. But right now I'm mostly thinking about the humidifier part. We're all so fragging dry, and even my poor dog is suffering. She gets premium food and fish oil on a regular basis, and usually her black coat is gorgeous - super-glossy. But she's all flaky and dull and itchy, just like the rest of us. :( It'll pass, but it's like this every year.
I have to make cookies. Okay, I don't have to make cookies. But I have makings for cookies, and we don't really have much to take to this party, and if I made cookies and took them, then they (or their ingredients) wouldn't be here.
Part of the reason I need to get rid of the cookies fixings is because it's time to go clean. I've been reading about too many health benefits to eating "right," and not just weight-loss. But dude, I'm getting older. Once you hit your mid-thirties, the neglect you inflict on your body starts to show. And it only goes downhill. It doesn't just show, but you feel it - in your skin, your bones, your muscles, even your fingernails and hair.

I'm already struggling with a lot of circumstantial depression (depression originating from circumstances, rather than just random chemical-y depression) and emotional issues from this past year. I really don't need nutrition (or lack thereof) working against me on top of everything else. I mean, I could just let myself go, continue to feel lousy on the inside and out until I just keel over. (And believe me, I've been in the frame of mind where that's been a strong possibility.) Or I can pick myself up and prepare myself to hit my 40s like a goddess and be in the best condition I can, so that I can do all the things I still want to do with my life.
I've been re-reading The Wait so I can get re-centered for the next chapter. Boy, even though it was beta'ed several times and combed over, it's still a mess. I guess it's a good thing, in a way, because maybe that means I've grown as a writer since then? One could hope. But it's also distracting. And, no offense, but I'm impatient to get that bit done and get chapter 7 written, because I'm really chomping at the bit to revise my original story. Well, I'm also kind of dreading that, too. I realize there will be a lot of work there, and I need to do it in little bits so I don't get overwhelmed. And yet it's still easy to get overwhelmed.
I don't remember the rest. Oh! Except that my Nook skin arrived, like, JUST NOW. I hope I can apply the thing without screwing it up. Cross your fingers for me! That's about all, I suppose.

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You are making the rest of us look bad, dumbass!

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 17:03:48 GMT

So, someone posted something on facebook this morning that just - eh. It was one of those things where I get that it probably seemed like a good idea at the time, and maybe to them it was perfectly justifiable and harmless, but I was still just - blech.

Without getting into the details, it was posted by an acquaintance who is very involved in arts - awesome, right? But the jist of what they posted was about people who don't understand the importance of funding for non-profit art groups. Again, I have no problem with this, and largely I agree. Except when the argument comes up that, "feeding the soul is just as important as feeding the stomach," (with regards to, "but isn't this charity that feeds starving children in Africa more important?").

NO, "feeding the soul" is NOT more important than feeding the hungry! Try singing a goddamned song to a starving child instead of giving it a bowl of food, for fuck's sake! UGH! They are two completely different things, and should be regarded as such. And I'm sorry, but for as liberal and artsy as I've been my whole life, I will never, ever believe that funding an arts group is as important or more important than helping the homeless, the starving, the sick (ideally, in a country as wealthy as ours, we should be able to do BOTH!). And when you try and use that whole "feeding the soul" bullshit as an argument, you only succeed in making yourself and the rest of us who DO care about the arts, look BAD!

GAH! STFU!! *stab* *stab*

Sorry, I seem to be full of bitchery this week. Maybe it's PMS.

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Ten Minute Review: "Butterfly Swords"

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:43:36 GMT

So last night I finished Butterfly Swords, a historic romance set during the Tang Dynasty, by author Jeannie Lin.

First off, let me say that I have a pretty big bias against all things Harlequin. I cut my teeth on them, and probably learned about the birds and the bees from them as a child sneaking books out my mom's bedside table. Harlequin is this huge romance company, and seems to frequently embody everything that is ridiculed about romance as a genre. This is, after all, the company that brings you priceless titles like, "Billionaire Tycoon's Mistress and Secret Baby" - there's a whole category for those. No kidding. So it was with a great deal of skepticism that I spent the $3 on this title. I think I'd read some really good reviews, and the concept interested me.

It was a decent read. I'll not summarize the story, because clicking on the link will get you that information just fine. There was a lot of angst, and I cried many times throughout the book, usually because of the family conflict involved. What can I say - I'm a sucker for the whole runaway princess shaming her family trope. But really, the story moved along at a fast pace, there was a lot of scenery, etc., and I would have easily given this book 4.5 stars. Until I reached the end.

The ending really just kind of ruined it. And it's not that I expect anyone who might read this blog to care so much as, this is something I need to remember for my own writing. Because the story I sketched out for NaNoWriMo has a lot of conflict, a lot of heartache, and what I have learned here is that if you set up all that conflict, your resolution had better be just as strong and just as complex as that conflict you've created. When I reached the end, I was left feeling aggravated because the resolution was too easy.

{{{{If you're going to read this book, there are vague spoilers here}}}}
(But really, come on - you know it's going to be a HEA ending, since it's a goddamned romance novel.)

Why did daddy change his mind? We're not given that in the least, just that he does. And that pretty much negates the fact that Ai Li has been on the run throughout this whole story, both from her betrothed betrayer and then from her father who tells her to suck it up anyway because her country means more than the honor of her family. How in the fuck does that turn in to, "do you want to marry him, daughter?" GRRR! And it would have taken all of 10 pages to give us a reason why the change of heart!! So frustrating!!

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Back to the Living (sort of)

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 18:08:34 GMT

Now that NaNoWriMo is over, I am starting the process of catching up on the rest of my life. I say that, and I know it sounds melodramatic, and I do think it's kind of ridiculous the way a lot of people get so stressed out and let NNWM completely consume their lives. It's not that difficult to crank out 1,667 words of shit a day. And that's largely what it's meant to be - shit. Shit that you edit through and fix up later, but shit nonetheless. Well, it shouldn't be that hard. I mean, if you can't find the time, that just means you actually have a life. But as far as sheer volume goes, 1,667 isn't that much.

At the same time, there is quite a bit I've had to ignore. Mostly stuff I wanted to do but didn't because I felt guilty if I did. Like video games, for starters. I'm a wii girl, because frankly, I'm just not a gamer, really. But I like the Nintendo line of games, so there you go. I have SO many games, though. Very few of which I've ever finished. Really, the only games I've finished are the Paper Mario series, and I ripped through those like crack. But Zelda? Still not done. Super Mario Galaxy? Nope. Okami I've barely started, even though it's gorgeous and sweet and peaceful. There's even Lego Harry Potter, which I've finished but not completed. And the Lego Star Wars set, which I'm nowhere near finished. There's also Resident Evil 4 and the Godfather games, which I wimped out on because I'm so inexperienced at shooter style games, but I do want to be a cool kid and get into those, especially Resident Evil. And yet, there are other games I want. I'm not allowed any more of the Zelda or Mario games until I've finished something, though! So yeah - lots of gaming.

There's cross stitch. Two years ago, I spent stupid money on updating my cross stitch basket and buying these really pretty patterns and fancy linens and threads. Have I done anything with them? Hell no! Because they're mostly Christmas related things, and by the time NaNo was finished for the past two years, I was antsy to get back into fan fiction. No excuses, now. I have these word trees I want to do, especially since both my MILs are hosed up in some form or another this year. It would be nice to send them something.

Music, obviously. Not much to be said about it. Piano and drums. Also, would like to eventually get everything polished so that I can re-record all of my material "unplugged," just piano/vocals. But I'm looking to properly start teaching after the first of the year, so it's kind of important to get back into actually playing, right?

Piece of shit old upright in my garage. This is something that can't be done until the garage and work bench get cleaned out (maybe this weekend?). But I do want to get that beast functioning. I think it'd be easier for little fingers to play than my grand piano, which is largely why I took it in.

READING. Oh, my god, I have so much reading to do. For the past two days I've been playing with calibre, an e-book organization and reader software. A lot of the books I've gotten, when I've loaded them into my nook, their title information is jacked. And since the only e-readers out there that seem to have any real file management systems are the expensive ones by Sony, if the title info isn't just right, it just kind of sits there and looks like ass. I mean, the e-book itself is great - totally readable, made of awesome. But half my library was out of order and just messing with my chi. So I went through and fixed everything in calibre and re-loaded my whole library (of like, 225 books or something, and those are only the side-loaded ones. I have about 60 or more in my Barnes & Noble folder - lot of "freebies" but that's the sweetness of both the nook and the kindle. The freebies are frequently really good, too.). Point being, my nook is so much love, now. Only thing missing is the custom skin I ordered for it, which I am waiting impatiently on. Grr.

Writing stuff. Not just writing, but the fact that I currently have three different writing programs, none of which I'm familiar enough with to fully use. I want to pick one and go with it - they all have their benefits, I'm sure. I should be able to make this a two-birds type of project, since I also need to organize the shit I've already written, both original and fan fiction. I have so many scraps and roughs all over the place, and what I need to do is create RTF files of everything that's finished, both formatted and with html coding, and put them in a proper place. Then go through and weed through the scraps, maybe compile what has potential, and trash the rest. Then, with them all in RTF format, I can just import them into the software I have and use them for "practice." I'm also playing with using an lj-community of my own for storing up my fics exclusively, since I've taken to blogging more. That's really for my own organizational purposes, though, so I can feel like all of that stuff has its own place.

Other smallish, non-commentary things to do: exercise more regularly, art, movie watching (OMG We already have our tickets to the midnight showing of Tron 3D in IMAX HELL YES), and of course, writing in and of itself, and in a week or so I'll begin revision work on my NaNo. It's hard not to do it now. Things I love on the cable teevee: Ghost Adventures (like burning), Good Eats (Alton, please marry me), Walking Dead (wtf do you mean this weekend is the season finale?! Already?!), that's about all.

What did I miss?

Recommend me stuff. This has been the year I've fully embraced my love for romance novels - having an e-reader has really helped that. There's no shame in anything that I read now, and I carry that thing everywhere with me. I'll have to make a list of what I've read this year. I might have hit 50 books, after all.

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huh.

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 06:50:25 GMT

Well, I didn't realize it, but I just did a test-plug-in of my story on the NaNoWriMo word count validator to check for any inconsistencies, and apparently, according to them, I've won, hit my 50k mark, etc.

I am almost at the rough end of my very rough draft. As in, not too far away from the actual end scene. As in, 'close enough.' Close enough to hang it up and start at the beginning again with a huge can of polish and a very large pair of shears.

Whew. I really wasn't sure about this one. Ironically, since I *am* pretty sure about the story itself. ANYway. At least now I feel like I am justified in wearing my NaNoWriMo hoodie for one more year, AND I can get the 50% off deal on the Scrivener software they're offering. Like I need any more writing software.

But most importantly, I can breathe. I can open up calibre and start reorganizing my e-books, I can go back to reading again without feeling too guilty, I can update The Wait, I can do some cross stitch, I can relax & play with a bunch of things without my inner drill sergeant tapping her foot right behind me. Not that that's a bad thing, mind - I lack so much discipline, that really, NaNoWriMo is perfect for people like me. I got a good, solid start on a story I would enjoy reading. Solid enough to where I'm excited about jumping into the revision process.

But right now? Right now I'm gonna feed my dog and go to bed.

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YEAH!

Sat, 27 Nov 2010 19:47:35 GMT

I just found out a friend of mine / former classmate / ex-fuckbuddy is going to do live sound for Daniel Lanois at the club where he (my friend) works! SO FRUCKING AWESOME!! (If you don't know already but care to know, Daniel Lanois is the producer responsible for Peter Gabriel's So and Us albums, U2's The Unforgettable Fire, The Joshua Tree, Achtung Baby, and most of their recent albums, Luscious Jackson's Fever In, Fever Out, Bob Dylan's Oh, Mercy and Time Out of Mind, Neil Young's most recent release, Wrecking Ball by Emmylou Harris, and just - a SHIT TON more. The Wiki is HERE. But on top of all that, Daniel Lanois is an amazing musician. Seriously, guys - this man is my idol. He's my go-to for music that soothes my soul and moves my spirit. And my friend gets to not only meet the man, but engineer live sound for him. I am ecstatic for him, and nervous as FUCK for him! So much awesome. SO MUCH AWESOME.

In other news, I've spent a very quiet week trying to push through to the end of my NaNoWriMo project. By "end," I mean not just word count, but story. Right now I have a fuckload of back story for my characters and plot that will likely get cut out, but I also have smut scenes that have been left hanging in the interest of time, and those will get rounded out. It's still a big hot mess, but I'm really excited about possibly FINISHING a story for NaNo instead of just reaching 50k. (Although, at this point, I've broken 40k and it will just KILL me if I fall short in the end. I know it's silly, but still.)

I've watched some neat movies this week, too, particularly Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhal and James Spader (GUH - so odd and wrong and warped and funny and hot and intelligent and good lord the chemistry and acting was gorgeous!), and Whip It, the roller derby flick - excellent shit right there.

I've also been slurping back these concoctions which I think are more like an incorrect cross between a cappuccino and a latte. My espressos are double ristrettos with lots of crema, and my mugs are not very shallow, and I'm thinking that's why I just can't get enough of a cloud to even try to attempt latte art, but it could be that I suck at milk. Either way, TASTY. Really worlds better than anything I can get at a Starbucks. This is particularly good, since I recently went back through my bank statements and realized just how much money I was pouring into my Starbucks habit while I waited for my parts to repair my Gaggia.

I think that's about all for now. Time to get back to the writing. :P

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pelespen

On Not Giving a Flying Fuck Anymore

Daenerys.

Fic: "Vein of Gold"

Fic: "Pack Bonding"

damn it!

Wednesday Awesomeness

Norway

swoon

Cross My Palm... With Tuna...

the crazy is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood...

Well, damn. :(

Ugh and Ew

where I've been

!!!!!!!!

*snarl* *gnash*

Hello!

the we

Happy Christmas! Random Stuff and a Drabble

procrastination (again, hey!)

You are making the rest of us look bad, dumbass!

Ten Minute Review: "Butterfly Swords"

Back to the Living (sort of)

huh.

YEAH!

snarl gnash